There are places you should never go in Orlando.
Colonial and 436 have to be the absolute worst roads to be stuck on. In true Florida road nomenclature, Colonial is also called State Road 50. Semoran Boulevard is also known as Florida State Road 436.
Often people refer to different names of the road during different stretches, but it’s still the same road.
The UCF to Downtown Trek
There’s a billion lights and nothing to look at. No amount of lanes makes it faster. If you’re trying to get from the University of Central Florida in East Orlando to downtown Orlando, expect to crawl through traffic.
Colonial was even nominated as one of the nation’s most dangerous roads by an Orlando Sentinel writer back in 2004.
For anyone who’s AC has issues, you will be stuck in a sauna from one side of town to the other – for ten whole months of the year.
From UCF to Downtown Orlando can be accomplished with almost no tolls, but for the price of your soul.
One Straightshot: Winter Park Area to the Airport
If you’re going from Aloma area to the airport, you should get a plane to fly there.
You’ll drive by run down stores and sit at far too many lights. You’ll pass by overpasses and tolls roads that will leer at you with their convenience for taking travelers to other locations – any other location.
Any Starbucks you’d want to pop into to get caffeine to help you through this trial will be located on the opposite side of the road and without a direct traffic route for hopping in a drive-through line.
On the rare days that traffic has thinned and you aren’t neighbors with a million fellow cars on the road, the lights will determine your fate and you can expect every single one to be red.
Should I Just Uber?
You could be in an uber or your friend’s passenger seat with fantastic music blasting through the speakers and you will still abhor every second on these roads.
Once you arrive at the airport, sticky with humidity and frustration, have fun in the security line.
When the tram finally takes you toward your gate, the only way to recover might be with a an Absolut Citron Martini, hold the mixers.
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